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基本説明
New in paperback. Hardcover was published in 2000. Offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change.
Full Description
Winner of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) Self-Help Seal of Merit! Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who "just doesn't get it" will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behaviour that are difficult to alter. But these differences do not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and lots of real-life examples, readers will learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; and how true acceptance can restore health to their relationships.
Contents
Three Sides to Every Story. Part IWrong!": Relationship Problems as Faults. "How Can You Be That Way?": Relationship Problems as Incompatibilities. "Can I Give to You without Losing Me?": Incompatibilities over Love and Power. "I Do but I Don't": Confusing Incompatibilities. "You Know How to Hurt Me": Relationship Problems as Vulnerabilities. A Cure Worse Than the Disease: Relationship Problems as Solutions. Part II: From Argument to Acceptance. The Delicate Balance: Acceptance and Change. A Story of Our Own: Acceptance through Understanding. Walking in Your Partner's Shoes: Acceptance through Compassion. Getting Some Perspective on the Conflict: Acceptance through Tolerant Distance. Part III: Deliberate Change through Acceptance. The Dilemmas of Deliberate Change. How Good Advice Can Be Bad for Your Relationship: Accepting the Foibles of Rules. Why a New Approach Can Lead to the Same Old Thing: Using Your Own Story to Make Genuine Change. Lost Battles Can Win the War: How Change and Intimacy Can Emerge from Defeat. Part IV: When Acceptance Is Not Enough. "Don't Do That to Me!". Call in the Professionals. Appendix: Internet Resources.
