Full Description
They threw the book at Madoff. Now here's the book he needs. While many books are offered for the CEO who aims to survive the cutthroat competition of the corporate jungle, not a single one offers to help those same CEOs when the law catches up with them. That is, until now. This book offers valuable advice for those executives who have cooked the books, and now find themselves paying the price. Borowitz covers all aspects of prison life, from exit strategies (prison-break tips) to ways of keeping the business acumen sharp (how to make the Warden your most valuable employee) to prison cell feng shui and even self-defense (how to use this book as a deadly weapon). Convicted corporate executives should look at this time spent in prison as an opportunity, rather than a disadvantage. New business contacts can be established, new management strategies tested-time can even be spent working on the golf game so it says sharp for ten, twenty, however many years. Direct from Bernie Madoff's cellmate, Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison is loaded with helpful tips, including: Complete Corporate-Speak/Prison Slang GlossaryHow to earn $$$ making vanity license platesTrophy wives, and how to avoid becoming oneHow to avoid getting back-stabbed literallyDon't forget, Who Moved My Soap? will be both small enough to fit in the pocket of your prison uniform, but also thick enough to hollow out and hide cigarettes in! Who Moved My Soap? is a must read for any white collar criminal. CEOs headed to the Big House will now have something to read to help them pass the time. It's also a must read for those of us who were fleeced by them.
Contents
Table of Contents1. Put Your Hands in the Air and Step Away from the Desk2. From the Big Board to the Big House3. Trading One Gated Community for Another4. Packing for the Pokey 5. Prison Slang: From Ass-out to Zip Gun 6. Prison Food: Don't Pick Up the Check 7. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Prisoners 8. Prison Cell Feng Shui 9. Bringing Six Sigma to Sing Sing 10. Female CEOs: Breaking Through the Concrete Ceiling 11. How Golden Is Your Hacksaw? Exit Strategies
