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The 'big girl's blouse' is Alice's best friend, Conor, who offers her a job in the Samovar cafe when her vindictive boss sacks her. But Conor's boyfriend, Hector, is being pursued by Immigration - and Alice finds herself agreeing to marry him in exchange for a cut in the cafe. Inevitably the success of the Samovar attracts the attention of local gangster Jesse James and his bodyguard-cum-hitman Joxer Boxer. The situation goes from bad to worse due to some double-dealing by Hector, and Alice has to fight to hold everything - including Conor - together. All Alice has to fall back on is a bit of native wit and a little help from her friend and neighbour Madame Maxine, Dominatrix.